Glopowrimo #14 
His name was Dick. Now don't laugh. Isn't it better than Dirk, or Dirt, you carp? A single syllable is enough, it seems. To make some people want to barf. Barf it is, not bard, I swear. And her surname, it was Kant, not C*nt. Yes, as in the philosopher Kant. Don't know what you will do with such a dirty mind! If I said wussy, you would hear *ussy. What can I do if English is crazy? Now Dick and Daisy, - yes, it was not *ussy! - were about each other totally crazy. He was a square and she, well, a skirt. He, crazy about her skirt, and she, about his shirt. He was quite flirty, and she pretended to be shirty, till he lifted her skirt and she took off his shirt. They were a pair, and she had two pears he wanted to eat, so she gave him her seat. When it was night he said "I am your knight", and she gave him a slap on the tip of his... cap. Nightcap, I mean, you reader who can't keep your thoughts to yourself, and want me to write what is not right, to laugh at my gaffe. Now Dick and Daisy went for a ride, as Dick was 'in' Daisy's.., car, not care. Dick was a poet and Daisy a stripper, so to the bar they cavorting went, where Dick would read homonyms and homophones and Daisy let folks write homographs on her while they stuffed her stockings with cash as she suspendered herself or upended her legs on a pole. They play Johnny Cash in that joint and smoke joints.
Then a man called Sick tried to put coins in her bra. Sick, not sic. Dick had a gun and he took it out. He knew where to show his beef. A gun, dear reader, not his wussy, in truth! He shot Sick in his potbelly and Sick died. Sic. And sick! Daisy did not know whether to laugh or to cry. They took Dick away to the gaol next day, but he swore he would reach his goal next time. Sick to the morgue they took in a hearse driven by a horse for his last rite and Daisy was left. But Daisy was right, to love Dick and not Sick, though the course of true love runs wrong pretty quick. What's with that and homonyms, and homographs and homophones we write? No telling, but no one can help standing and staring when beauty cums by. You gotta hold on to it, through thick and thin, you gotta ride it, baby, hard and fast.
Then a man called Sick tried to put coins in her bra. Sick, not sic. Dick had a gun and he took it out. He knew where to show his beef. A gun, dear reader, not his wussy, in truth! He shot Sick in his potbelly and Sick died. Sic. And sick! Daisy did not know whether to laugh or to cry. They took Dick away to the gaol next day, but he swore he would reach his goal next time. Sick to the morgue they took in a hearse driven by a horse for his last rite and Daisy was left. But Daisy was right, to love Dick and not Sick, though the course of true love runs wrong pretty quick. What's with that and homonyms, and homographs and homophones we write? No telling, but no one can help standing and staring when beauty cums by. You gotta hold on to it, through thick and thin, you gotta ride it, baby, hard and fast.
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