feedback on saudi arabian paper unedited first draft

It's pretty good but some points:
1. You need to distance yourself much more without losing the personal insights.
2. There are too many typos.
3. There is a sudden jump to the Geetha Narayanan bit about Bruce Mau et al.
4. The bit from after Nirmal Selvamony about what it is in terms of Saudi Arabia - is it a vision statement you have cooked up or something you culled from elsewhere - the Competency, Creativity, etc. If it is culled from elsewhere, UK Curriculum? then it is too extensively quoted and you should just take up the relevant elements.
5. The key argument is that the Saudi's must exercise AUTONOMY in creating a curriculum, syllabus for its universities. This has to be elaborated in much more detail in terms of directionality and form and content instead of publishing the entire UK curriculum in the paper. For instance, you speak of taking in useful elements from Orient Longmans whatever ..Is there some sort of demonstration you can give of this mix n match, cut n paste? Or is it an entirely new combine you are talking of, indigenously developed? Give a picture of it.
6. Ideally, the UK curriculum and the questionnaire should be annexures and the paper should comment on both and integrate the comments with your vision for the Saudi Arabian future. The inclusion of both these things makes the paper take a nosedive in terms of energy. You need to boost the end.
That's it.
by A.V.Varghese